JUST A STORY - 1

I was on duty in an examination class. The kids had to write a story ending "....and it was exactly as she had said it would be". So I wrote one too. Quite rusty...but you may find it readable... “......it was exactly as she had said it would be.”

x          x          x          x          x          x

One glassy eye looked in the general direction where she thought my face would be. It was actually an apology for an eye; more of a ball of yellow putrefaction. The other one was a shade easier to behold, simply because of its total absence; atleast the lid closed over a hollow pit was not so repulsive.

Dishevelled hair, some tied back in a long-forgotten plait, the rest like a halo of dull silver around a leathery, weather-beaten face. She could have been just another beggar in the crowded thoroughfare, were it not for the fact that she did not hold out her hand or carry a container of any sort where pious humanity could hear the humiliating clink of the coins they dropped. What had attracted my attention as I walked around this small hill town and had almost passed by her unseeingly, one more of so many poor wretches dressed in rags, was that she was humming, not quite under her breath.

I noticed that she was blind, so I looked openly and unabashedly. The appearance was, well, not very attractive, but the voice was intriguing, and incongruous, to say the least. Not going anywhere in particular, I paused to listen for a moment.

She sat to one side of the path, oblivious to everything around her. All of a sudden her voice rose, and I was rooted to my spot, mesmerized! I did not understand the words, but to me she sang like...like...well, like chimes in a slight summer breeze, cowbells dinging across the valley on the far slope, ewes reassuringly nudging their lambs as they wander homeward come evening, a young maiden’s ‘paajeb’ as she shakes a dainty foot lost in thoughts known only to young maidens...

The dreams spun by her voice enthralled me. It took me three days to get her talking. Her tale came haltingly at first, as of one who is not used to conversation. But as my interest grew, she seemed to sense the beating of my heart, the rush of blood in my ears, and the words came pouring out.

O what a tale it was! A highland tale of joy and merriment, of carefree days and starry nights, of gentle slopes and bleating sheep, of the confident radiance of ripening fruits that know the magic of their fragrance!

I sensed, or rather, my mind insisted, that there had to be tragedy and misfortune. I tried to coax it out of her, but she would have none of it, gazing right through my morbid curiosity with eyes that had seemingly closed in spring!

Rather than succumbing, she lifted me up, up and away from what the ‘caring’ world insists we must dwell upon. She would not let me turn my thoughts towards misery and wretchedness. She gave me the gift of sight that is blind to what must not be seen again and again out of a sense of duty and guilt, and sees that which brings joy and exhilarates!

Now, two months later, I have found my way to the gentle mountains she talked of, and sang for. I set foot in this pristine highland, still a bit doubtful..... but it was exactly as she had said it would be...!

Zeina Glo helps you strip off layers of inhibitions, hesitation, and cynicism, allowing your thoughts and emotions to flow freely.

Zeina Glo helps to douse the flames of insecurity and guilt, to open the windows of mind and body to the cool fresh breeze of love.

Zeina Glo encourages you to spread inner peace, good health, radiance, exuberance, warmth, joy and the glow from your inner being.

Zeina Glo brings the beauty of your own thoughts back to you!!”

For, questions, criticism or advice, please post comments here, or write to zeinaglo@rediffmail.com or zeinaglow@gmail.com

FORGETFULLY YOURS

I ask.

I beg.

I grovel.

I complain.

I blame…

…God.

I magnify the pain in my imagination. It is usually just a heartache, or financial insecurity, or fear of discovery for some little act of commission or omission.

My pleading with the unknown, unseen, and very often unacknowledged Power is more persuasive and pitiful than that of any beggar on the street can be.

And The Power grants my wishes; the ache in the heart becomes a patch of flowers, the need to pay up somewhere is taken care of, the little error loses its significance with the passage of a few days. The world moves on, the existence of God is laid open to question again, the reflection in the mirror of my conscious being convinces me that I think reasonably well, I plan well and I do well.

Obeisance is still paid to God, somewhat slyly, more to keep him in good humour than for anything else. He has been helpful in the past, although the memory gets cob-webbed too soon; and while the present seems secure, the future is yet unknown. Better to have Him on my side! Now, the tone of asking is different. There are perceptible shades of resentment and questioning; why this or that should not be mine, or should happen to me, and a million other doubts. God’s judgement is questioned, and efforts are made to influence it with cunning flattery.

My ego grows. I know the way. I can even pray for others and get God’s ear. I am the sagely one, the learned one, the enlightened one, the favoured one. It goes to my head that I have a hotline to The Almighty, that I carry influence with The Power…

…Till the next kick in the pants bursts my bubble.

Pain, insecurity, illness, need, greed, gluttony!

Begging, grovelling, dust once again. Again a spate of promises in return for favours asked. Again the little I imploring the big He…

…till it is resolved and I can safely forget again.

x          x          x          x          x          x          x          x

There must be a better way.

Is He the God-of-Bad-Times only? How many times must I fall to learn that he is Lord-of-the-Good-Times, too? The God-of-Happy-Children, the God-of-Joy-at-Work, the God-of-Peace-at-Home, the God-of-Good-Friends, the God-of-Good-Health, the God-of-a-Roof-on-My-Head-and-Warmth-in-My-Bed, the God-of-Shoes-on-My-Little-Girl’s-Feet, the God-of-Food-on-My-Son’s-Plate, the God-of-the-Memories-of-my-Parents, the God-of-Hope-and-Love-and-Laughter-and-Sunshine-and-Young-People-Holding-Hands?

The-God-to-Give-Thanks-to, not to beg?

While He takes care of His world. And of the little non-existent speck that is I.

“Zeina Glo brings you the radiant glow of inner peace, good health and attendant beauty.

Zeina Glo helps you strip off layers of inhibitions, hesitation, and cynicism, allowing your thoughts and emotions to flow freely.

Zeina Glo helps to douse the flames of insecurity and guilt, to open the windows of mind and body to the cool fresh breeze of love.

Zeina Glo encourages you to spread inner peace, good health, radiance, exuberance, warmth, joy and the glow from your inner being.

Zeina Glo brings the beauty of your own thoughts back to you!!”

For, questions, criticism or advice, please post comments here, or write to zeinaglo@rediffmail.com or zeinaglow@gmail.com

CROSSINGS

The thoroughfare is busy. Everyone rushes by, intent upon some destination, known or imagined.

 

Some frown. Some scowl. Some stare. Some glower. Some nudge. Some push. Some hurt.

 

Some smile. Some nod their heads.

 

Some trip or stumble or bump unknowingly, unwittingly. Some do it deliberately.

 

A few pause by the wayside to watch the passing.

 

Some get carried along. Some get bumped against. Some get shoved aside. Some fall.

 

Some jeer. Some jest. Some ignore.

 

Some sympathize. Some help.

 

Some feel. Some pray.

 

Some demand. Some grab. Some steal.

 

A few give.

 

Some mutter. Some curse. Some quarrel.

 

Some bless.

 

Some give thanks.

 

A few forget the beaten path that rushes headlong towards the goal and wander off the track, to trot off into the bushes and paw at the earth, to raise a nose to the breeze with nostrils twitching, to chase a butterfly and stand in quizzical wonder as it flitters out of reach.

 

The goal has set its own preconditions, and existence is ordered by something in the distant future, while life passes by. The goal is imaginary. It has yet to occur, yet to be.

 

The goal is elusive. It keeps falling back like an enemy army in calculated withdrawal, while Time circles around to attack the attacker from behind.

 

Some give hope.

 

Some rejoice.

 

Some hide their own unhappiness, insecurity and uncertainty by imposing a burden of guilt on those who would be different. If they have their way, it is sinful to do, it is sinful not to do, to laugh out loud, to care, to try, to love, to rejoice, to be, to hope, to dream, to wonder, to see, to stray, to rest, to sleep, to stand, to run, to anything…

 

The goal is illusory. It is like a series of ridges where the visible crest seems to be the highest but gives way to the next higher one as the climber tops first one then the next, and the next, and the next, to the ever-retreating peak of the mountain.

 

Some feel let down. Some see disappointment.

 

Some find time to rest in the shade of a tree and gaze at a wisp of cloud floating in an azure sky; to slap a hand at the drone of an insect. Those who do not know the beauty of the sky or feel the magnificence of the little cloud scoff at them, and pour guilt into their psyche.

 

And then there are those who have no goal. The path is beautiful enough on its own. The crossings themselves inspire wonder as each who brushes by leaves behind or takes away something peculiar. The ridges open their eyes to a wondrous landscape at every crest. The breezes play. Leaves dance. Insects buzz. Birds sing. The world is alive. Up on His Throne, The Master smiles at these, His own.

 

The burden of guilt is poured most heavily upon these backs, for the simplicity of their rejoicing is awesome. Their joy is clearly apparent, easily understood. But they that rush along the road have ensconced themselves in a secure shell of setting and achieving goals. The sheer effortless ease of just giving in to Happiness threatens the saneness of their ways.

 

Some make a show of what they HAVE, and force regrets into these Favoured Ones, who do not NEED.

 

Then a child writes, ‘No cause for disappointments. No room for regrets.’

 

And the sun shines upon Kãto.

“Zeina Glo brings you the radiant glow of inner peace, good health and attendant beauty.

Zeina Glo helps you strip off layers of inhibitions, hesitation, and cynicism, allowing your thoughts and emotions to flow freely.

Zeina Glo helps to douse the flames of insecurity and guilt, to open the windows of mind and body to the cool fresh breeze of love.

Zeina Glo encourages you to spread inner peace, good health, radiance, exuberance, warmth, joy and the glow from your inner being.

Zeina Glo brings the beauty of your own thoughts back to you!!”

For, questions, criticism or advice, please post comments here, or write to zeinaglo@rediffmail.com or zeinaglow@gmail.com

TASEER

There is a fascinating word in some languages – ‘taseer’. I will not attempt translation or etymology. But some illustrations are in order.

If dry fruits or nuts like almonds are eaten in the form in which they leave their shells, their ‘taseer’ is very warm, that is, they provide one’s system with a lot of inner warmth; the ability to ward off the cold of the climate. I can picture a child in the rocky reaches of Afghanistan munching on these nuts of various types… But in warmer climes, the warmth they provide is not required, and often leads to pimples and sore throats and other more serious discomforts.

Now see how mother’s wisdom  prevails. If the same almonds are soaked overnight in water before they are eaten, their ‘taseer’ changes. Their heat goes out, leaving behind undisturbed a wealth of minerals and unexplained nutrients that work miracles!

The same overnight almonds peeled, ground and soaked in milk, make a ‘thandai’ that wards off the heat of the ‘Looh’ that scorches the plains in summer. The ‘taseer’ has changed again!

(A tribute to the westerly ‘Looh’ and its sister from the east, the ‘Purvai’, is paid in a previous post, ‘Let There Be Rain’).

I will beg your indulgence as I now digress from the trodden path of ‘taseer’.

Let me apply the term to a stone; a hard unyielding lump of creation that blocks a traveller’s path, or stubs a toe, or rolls down a mountain to maim or bury, a dangerous weapon in the hand of one who would hurt…..

….till the time its ‘taseer’ changes….

…and it forms a brick in the wall of a home or a place of healing and worship, and it is sculpted to expose from inside a beautiful figure of love and art, and it is a flung by merry children to peels of laughter as it plops into a pond, and it forms the tab in a game of hopscotch, and it piles up with others to form a majestic mountain.

The thing of misery is now an object of love, fun, worship, admiration, awe.

I leave it to you who read these words to apply the concept of ‘taseer’ to anything; a gun, a sword, an army, weapons, knowledge, science, …..

…..words.

And wealth in the sense of riches or money; think of its ‘taseer’ when it is used with questionable intentions; recognize the change in ‘taseer’ when it is put to use for helping, loving, spreading joy, alleviating pain, bringing smiles.

Opium... on one hand the mother of modern medicine; on the other, the father of the worst narcotic drugs.... ‘Taseer’.

Everything in creation has dual ‘taseer’, and it is the way it is used, the intention of the user, which gives it character.

And Life? Which way is this life to be lived?

Remember, oh heart, ‘taseer’!

“Zeina Glo brings you the radiant glow of inner peace, good health and attendant beauty.

Zeina Glo helps you strip off layers of inhibitions, hesitation, and cynicism, allowing your thoughts and emotions to flow freely.

Zeina Glo helps to douse the flames of insecurity and guilt, to open the windows of mind and body to the cool fresh breeze of love.

Zeina Glo encourages you to spread inner peace, good health, radiance, exuberance, warmth, joy and the glow from your inner being.

Zeina Glo brings the beauty of your own thoughts back to you!!”

For, questions, criticism or advice, please post comments here, or write to zeinaglo@rediffmail.com or zeinaglow@gmail.com

A TIME TO GIVE

One thought keeps returning; that all we ever owned was what we gave away.  If I give someone one moment of fear, I have created a moment of fear that will exist for eternity; that will remain a moment of fear for ever in all forms of timelessness. If I pass on a trace of hatred, l have created a bit of hatred for all parallel eternities. If I emit restlessness or insecurity, then that is what was mine to give to all generations living and to live.

Countless millions of situations, thoughts and emotions will always add up to make one sum total called ‘life’. What I can contribute to it is what was mine, what I had to GIVE, what I owned, what I was. And each passing day is adding up.

It is all very well to aspire to be better and do good tomorrow, but all the todays add up…

**********************************************

The little girl stirs early, when the window is just lighting up with the softness of a new day. Her small voice is filled with hope, “Papa, ajj kal ae?” (Papa, is it tomorrow today?)

The parents clutch at the remaining vestiges of sleep. Papa surfaces slowly into the world of the living, “Hmm.. Haanji…” (Hmm… Yes…)

She is too young to go to school yet. Her brother, a few years older, sleeps like a log. He is a late riser. Her voice is a bit stronger now, surfing over all the possibilities if what she is hoping for turns out to be true, “Papa, ajj kal ae na?” (Papa, today is tomorrow, na?)

Papa smiles deep within, “Haanji bête, ajj kal ae!” (Yes child, today is tomorrow!)

***********************************************

It has taken more than 12 years to really understand that yes! today is tomorrow! All my yesterdays were real; they happened; and because of them my today is. And this today is what I have in hand; everyday; today after today upon today following today! And tomorrow is what I make of it today. Because today is the tomorrow I hoped for yesterday. All the hopes and dreams are alive today. Years of love and aspirations, efforts and achievements, are meeting today. The birth, growth and fruiting are all today. And tomorrow is today.

I must give something today, now. In fact, I AM giving all the time. Only, now it is time that I started making the right choices; do I wish to give indifference or compassion, ill-will or love, frowns or smiles, confidence or anxiety, doubt or faith, sorrow or joy, greed or contentment, lethargy, a helping hand…

I am a part of the Creator; and these are all mine to create! I must choose wisely what I wish to leave behind for tomorrow, today.

***********************************************

Yes, meri bitti, ajj kal ae!

“Zeina Glo brings you the radiant glow of inner peace, good health and attendant beauty.

Zeina Glo helps you strip off layers of inhibitions, hesitation, and cynicism, allowing your thoughts and emotions to flow freely.

Zeina Glo helps to douse the flames of insecurity and guilt, to open the windows of mind and body to the cool fresh breeze of love.

Zeina Glo encourages you to spread inner peace, good health, radiance, exuberance, warmth, joy and the glow from your inner being.

Zeina Glo brings the beauty of your own thoughts back to you!!”

For, questions, criticism or advice, please post comments here, or write to zeinaglo@rediffmail.com or zeinaglow@gmail.com

LEELA

The violin sings a poignant melody. She-Who-Is-One-With-Him seems to be pining for her beloved. The notes are mournful and persuasive. The audience is drawn into the intensity of her yearning, feeling her pain… Then the rhythmic beats of the tabla rise softly and the mood lightens as The Cowherd seems to appear in Her presence.

Now the music is a dance. Back and forth, the Violin and the Tabla sway together in a breeze blowing in across the waters of the nearby river, feeling the cool touch of morning dew on the grass that nourishes the cattle.

The audience mainly comprises teenage boys and girls who think anything cultural is old fashioned and roll their eyes at ‘classical’. There are is also a collection of grown-ups vaguely resentful of having to spend an extra evening away from home.

The music castes a spell upon this difficult group of spectators. The Celestial Duo holds each other in fond embrace to the lilting notes of the strings. Now they dance separately; now they merge. A thousand flowers open to the morning sun; lotuses bloom; soft wisps rise off the silently flowing water.

They fly off into the clouds in a game of chase; they lie back on the soft grass to catch their breath… or lose it.

The cattle make pretence of grazing; birds glide by with barely a swish; flowers sway; insects buzz to the tune. It is a moment stolen from Heaven itself, and the earth is sanctified.

One is uninitiated, illiterate in music; knowing nothing but to lose oneself to it and feel, and frolic upon the dewy meadows now as One, now as the Other. One does not know the theme of the ‘raag’ or the composition being played… but even the teenagers cannot help breaking into applause.

The dance has been heady and She must finally sigh and surrender as She falls into His arms and rests Her head upon His bosom. He must now not take to His head this illusion of an upper hand, because both know that victory lies in surrender, in dissolution, in Oneness.

The world of worries and fears has retreated far back in one’s consciousness. A fleeting resolve is made to hold captive in wakefulness the essence of this dream, to surrender to freedom when the lights come on, to so fill one’s ears with The Music that other sounds are drowned, to see The Dance in all that is visible and all that is not.                                                                                                                   

“ZeinaGlo brings you the radiant glow of inner peace, good health and attendant beauty.

ZeinaGlo helps you strip off layers of inhibitions, hesitation, and cynicism, allowing your thoughts and emotions to flow freely.

ZeinaGlo helps to douse the flames of insecurity and guilt, to open the windows of mind and body to the cool fresh breeze of love.

ZeinaGlo encourages you to spread inner peace, good health, radiance, exuberance, warmth, joy and the glow from your inner being.

ZeinaGlo brings the beauty of your own thoughts back to you!!”

For, questions, criticism or advice, please post comments here, or write to zeinaglo@rediffmail.com or zeinaglow@gmail.com

SAY IT WITH FLOWERS

A child is born. Flowers radiate joy and blessings, welcome and goodwill.

Love is in the air. Flowers speak what words cannot express.

Gods and deities, temples and graves, are all adorned with flowers.

Life, death, love, good wishes, blessings, prayers, relationships, celebrations, joys, greetings, hope and achievement, all lean upon flowers for expression, for being, for happening.

Old tin cans, fancy pots, meticulously tended beds, unsightly dumps of waste, beautiful meadows, uncomfortable nooks; they bloom anywhere.

The humble flower, the haughty flower, the lonesome bloom, the carpeted field, the gigantic beauty, the tiny twinkler; their colours enchant, their fragrances entrance, their beauty enthrals.

Flowers facilitate all that is beautiful and kind, compassionate and hopeful, joyful and triumphant, praiseworthy and adorable in life.

A flower exists to please, to give, to cheer, to brighten, to delight, to give flight. The hardest heart melts and the stoniest eye softens as it beholds the innocent beauty of a flower. Every nostril pulls in a deeper breath when it perceives its fragrance. The delicate tenderness of a petal touches something in the very depth of one’s being.

It is the purpose of a flower to g-i-v-e; without fear or favour, without bias, without craving any return or recognition, without a care of being trampled underfoot, of being used and thrown, of being plucked and quashed. And to give ever cheerfully.

Flowers are spiritual beings. Whoever equated spirituality with sadness got it wrong. Spirituality is about relaxing, about joy, about blooming, about fragrance, about dissolving, about harmony, about smiling, about bliss!

The intention of flowers is only and always to give life, joy, peace, harmony, contentment, love, compassion….. and leave behind hope and seed for a thousand more to bloom and smile.

A little girl was born one April. Her parents called her Savneet, ‘all-embracing goodness.’

They did not know then that ‘sav’ means flower and ‘neet’ means intention.

The intentions of a flower, an all-embracing goodness.

The last word in Praan, the Life Force, emitted through sight and smell and tenderness and feeling and being there to ease, to please, to comfort, to encourage; always.

Savneet.

“Zeina Glo brings you the radiant glow of inner peace, good health and attendant beauty.

Zeina Glo helps you strip off layers of inhibitions, hesitation, and cynicism, allowing your thoughts and emotions to flow freely.

Zeina Glo helps to douse the flames of insecurity and guilt, to open the windows of mind and body to the cool fresh breeze of love.

Zeina Glo encourages you to spread inner peace, good health, radiance, exuberance, warmth, joy and the glow from your inner being.

Zeina Glo brings the beauty of your own thoughts back to you!!”

For, questions, criticism or advice, please post comments here, or write to zeinaglo@rediffmail.com or zeinaglow@gmail.com