It’s Tiffy’s (Jannat’s)
birthday today.
He draws pictures, so I’ll
draw one for him, some day…
INNER CORE
Someday, I’m going to draw
a picture; nothing very complex – just a diagram with a few circles, probably
concentric.
The innermost circle
needs to be deep. I really do not know how a circle can be deep; maybe I’m
mixing up my dimensions, maybe I’m imagining spheres in cross-section; maybe I
mean ‘intense’.
Anyway, I think I’ll
colour it blue. Blue not really as in water or ocean or rain; blue not really
as in sky; blue maybe a bit like the far-off mountains, but not exactly…
…deep inner-core blue.
An inner core that is not
a fiery red full of vigour and verve, and the need to go out and do or achieve!
An inner core that is not an orange of ambitions yet unfulfilled, that is not a
dusty brown of endless toil; nor even a light green of fresh leaves sprouting wisp-like
in the spring of young hearts, only to turn darker and one day fall to a chill autumn
breeze.
Maybe I’ll paint it the
blue of the eyes of a baby who’s been through millions of lives and has now
been born to this, the last; eyes that have seen it all, and know that there is
no more to see – or to seek; eyes that look up at the mother who nurses and
know the depths of her soul; eyes that this time around are going to absorb,
whose images are going to blur and fade and mix and smoothen out on the canvas
to, at last, See.
An inner core of deep
tranquillity.
**************************
The inner core will be
surrounded by a second circle.
I cannot imagine its
colour. It has to be soft. It has to be gentle. It has to pulse with life! Yet
it cannot be all consuming. It must merge smoothly and effortlessly into the
blue of the inner core, losing its own entity and subtly ripening into deep
tranquillity.
This sphere will be of love,
and whatever it touches shall be drawn into it, coloured with its own hue.
Where tranquillity lies imperturbable, love shall beat in a deep rhythm of
heart and encompass all it encounters. Love shall sometimes seem to lose, but
in every ending, it shall emerge victorious.
In fact, it shall be the
strongest armour and the deadliest weapon; and the only victories ever, will be
those of love.
Like the inner sphere,
this one too shall be deep; it’s depth unfathomable, unimaginable, indefinable.
**************************
A third circle; or
sphere; or cross section of life.
Its outer edges will show
turbulence, controlled as it grows inwards; like stirring a thick liquid that
hardens gradually into something that cannot be stirred any longer; maybe like
what happens to good honey as the weather turns colder.
The outer edge of
turbulence will signify resistance, non-acceptance, rebellion. Antipathy.
Progressing inwards will
show the gift of willingness to understand the other point of view – not adopt,
but understand; every other point of view, or even just the need for the existence
of every other point of view…or the right. Empathy.
It will also be the
recognition of the possibility that opinions can change, people can change;
ideas, situations, circumstances, perceptions, aims – everything can change,
and does - even oneself. There is nothing to get worked up about, really; one
only needs to stop judging. The journey inward through this circle will see a
blurring of the image of oneself, and an emergence of an image of a great
design that can only be felt, only be wondered at, only be appreciated; not
explained.
And everyone and everything
will have a purpose, and one’s own reaction will define oneself; and compassion
shall be born.
Yes, this great, magical
step inward shall be compassion. The sphere of compassion needs to be vast,
universal, infinite, knowing no bounds.
**************************
Outside the sphere of
compassion, on the crust will be the surface that we sometimes think denotes Life;
an array of protrusions and intrusions and heights and depths and euphoria and
gloom and despair and hope and explosions as we used to see in the pictures of
the sun in long-ago school atlases. All these will be stimuli, conditions,
circumstances, reactions, emotions.
Funnels of lust, anger,
greed, cloying attachment and arrogant untamed ego, will seep through fissures
and try to pierce as deep into the picture as they can. They will make inroads
sometimes into the sphere of thick, viscous compassion; disturb sometime the
soothing layer of love; and make the inner core of tranquillity retire deeper.
And sometimes seams of
tranquillity will also flow unbidden from the inner core.
**************************
A deep inner core of
tranquillity; of oneness, of being; the abode of That Which they call God.
Someday, I’m going to draw
a picture. And I’ll live it from the outside inwards, leave behind the memories
of the surface turmoil as I travel deep…
…and who knows, someday
the picture may only be one circle of deep inner core blue.
